Guest Blogger: Victoria Blisse

Lou’s 3 top tips to getting sexy on a budget

I love my husband to bits but he’s not a billionaire. Sometimes we have to get a bit creative if we want to spice up our sex lives. Here’s my top tips to help you out if you’re looking to get sexy without breaking the bank (or your back come to that)!

Use what you’ve got

If you look online you can find a million and one different doodahs and gadgets for improving your sex life, a lot of them cost a fortune. My advice to you is see what you’ve got at home already that can double up as a sex toy.

Belts and ties are good for bondage, a wooden spoon might make a good spanker (check it on yourself first to see if you can take the pain!) and baby oil can be really nice for a massage. I have heard you have to be careful what oils you use if you’re using condoms, though, so proceed with caution. You’ll be amazed what you have at home that can work…try wearing your apron and nothing else or maybe there’s an alternative use for your feather duster…

Take some time

One really important part to sex for me is the intimacy you get from it. It’s really important to make time to spend with your other half where you can just be together. Time costs nothing and even an hour, just snuggled on the sofa watching a film is good for a relationship and your sex drive. Remember, sex isn’t just about the in and out, if you know what I mean. Other intimate acts count too!

Mad Skillz

We all have our own special talents. Rob makes me playlists of music for my phone, to remind me he loves me. I bake for him whenever I can and food is good seduction. Dipping fruit into melted chocolate and feeding it to your lover is sexy, if a little messy, but it doesn’t cost the earth. Think of something you’re good at and use it to enhance your sex life. Write him a love letter, take a sexy photo and send it to his phone. If you can dance, strip for him, if you can’t do it anyway. Just try a new way to show your love, it’ll keep things fresh and exciting for you both.

I hope my tips help you out. Please comment and let me know your tips for hot sex on a budget so I can try them out on Rob, thanks.



It was only a small parcel in a typical brown padded envelope. It wasn’t expected, which is why I spent so long looking it over. The return address didn’t ring a bell, and I really couldn’t imagine what it could be so, finally, I opened it. I grinned to myself as I did. My husband Rob would have laughed at me, spending so long looking at the wrapping and wondering. He doesn’t get why I like to eke out the anticipation in moments like this.

Inside was a square of white with a lacy frill all around it. When I opened it up, I found ties –it was a pinny. Inside the parcel was a sealed envelope. I opened it to find a card covered in small red love hearts.

Wear this tonight and only this xxx

PS Kids are going to my mum’s for tea tonight, so don’t worry.

I recognised my husband’s handwriting immediately and chuckled when I remembered a conversation we’d held in a restaurant once about pinnies and their attractiveness. Well, Rob had been staring at this red-headed waitress (he loves auburn hair) with cute curves and pouty lips, and I had to pull him up on it.

“No, Lou, No.” He shook his head. “I am helplessly addicted to pinnies. I can’t help it.”

“Pinnies?” I lifted one brow and pinched his thigh under the table. “You’re turned on by tiny little aprons?”

“Yes.” He nodded solemnly.  “It’s a terrible affliction.”

“What’s your favourite kind?”

“White ones with lacy bits,” he replied, licking his lips salaciously.

That night, I whispered dirty sweet nothings in his ear while we fucked in the comfort of our hotel room bed. I told a story where I was a simple girl, waiting on tables in a quaint old tea shop, wearing a little lacy pinny. I giggled. He chuckled, but as my tale got hotter, the noises we made became strangled and lust-filled.

“You watch me until the end of my shift,” I whispered, hunched over him, my soft thighs stretched around his waist as his hard erection filled me. I moved gently up and down and continued the tale. “Then follow me outside into the alley. Before I can cry out, you clamp your hand over my mouth and push me roughly against the wall. I struggle helplessly but you hold me down and whisper about knowing I want it. How I’d teased you and how I would get what I’d been asking for.”

I still remember how he gripped my hips tightly when I rode him. I continued my story through groans of pleasure.

“You spin me around, press me into the harsh brick of the wall, and pull up my skirt. Grabbing hold of my prim pinny, you fuck me. I’m soaking wet, so you slide right in. You fuck me there in an alley, the girl you just met, the girl you hardly know.”

My words turned into unintelligible mumblings at the point where ecstasy took over. And ever since our holiday, with the visit to that restaurant and the evening’s tale of indecency in an apron, we’ve found a mutual fondness for the uniform of waiting staff and hotel workers alike. So, if Rob wanted me naked in nothing but a pinny for Valentine’s, that’s what he could have.


Rob and Lou's Wild WeekendsHold on tight, it’s going to get wild! Rob and Lou could pass you in the streets and you’d likely not notice them. They’re in their thirties, have a family and jobs to hold down and they do it with smiles on their faces. But occasionally they get a little time off and that’s when things get seriously sexy.

Light-hearted and fun, this mini-anthology features episodes from this couple’s wild weekends. Making the most of the mud, finding the erotic nature of an apron and even having a sexy visit to a fish and chip shop. Rob and Lou make the mundane much more pleasurable so join them on their kinky ride.

Includes a bonus short story Damsel in Distress and excerpts from other ebooks by the award winning queen of rosy, raunchy and rubenesque erotic romance, Victoria Blisse.

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