The Guru

If you like side splitters, you’ve come to the right place! The Guru is hilarious. I really like these ‘Bollywood’ films, they’re so un-politically correct, just how I like ‘em! Starring the rather dishy Jimi Mistry, it’s worth a watch just for him!

Ramu Gupta (Mistry) is a heavily lusted after dance instructor in India, specialising in the Macarena and similar (a man after my own heart, I love the Macarena!). His heart is set on bigger and better things, primarily the lights of Broadway. Tempted further by the boastings of his best friend, already a hot shot in New York, with his own sports car and penthouse, Ramu is desperate to have an adventure of his own, and find fame and fortune.

Despite the protests of his family, Ramu goes off to New York, with barely a backward glance. Fame and fortune, however, aren’t as easily achievable as Ramu first thought. His friend appears to have exaggerated somewhat, rather than being rich and famous, he’s actually serving them food in an Indian restaurant. Waiting tables and going to small time auditions weren’t exactly what Ramu envisioned, but given no choice, he ploughs on and goes to numerous auditions, hoping to get his big break. He feels his luck has changed as he attends an audition for Ramrod Productions, and shakes his ass for the director who hires him on the spot.

The role is definitely not what Ramu expected. He’s going to be starring in a porn film! Despite his beautiful co-star Sharonna (Heather Graham), his ‘little friend’ refuses to play ball, and he’s on the verge of being out of a job, when Sharonna offers to help him out by teaching him relaxation techniques. Despite all of the pair’s best efforts, Ramu’s penis will not cooperate. So he is jobless once more, but continues to see Sharonna and they unwittingly begin to fall for each other.

Things begin to look up for Ramu, when the resident ‘guru’ at a posh party he is waiting on, gets falling down drunk and, well, falls down. Unable to revive the evening’s entertainment, it’s up to good old Rammy to save the day, and all their skins.

Acting as an enlightenment guru, the ‘guru’ of sex, the socialites of New York fall for his inane babblings and learn the Macarena, and before long the ‘guru’ is worshipped the state over. However, his words of wisdom are not his own, and when Sharonna discovers he’s using her advice and deepest secrets to make his fortune, she’s deeply betrayed.

Ramu, however, is undeterred. He is blinded by the lights of fame and doesn’t realise how hurt the beautiful Sharonna is. She is engaged to be married, and was having second thoughts, but Ramu’s actions may well have lost her for good to her fireman fiancée.

This is a top notch film. I love the way they’ve played around with stereotypes, it’s just a total mickey take. If you’ve seen East is East or Bride and Prejudice and liked them, you’ve got to watch this one. If you haven’t, make a point to watch all three.

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