Self-Love is in the Air Blog Hop #SelfLoveIsInTheAir
I’m delighted to be joining in with this fabulous blog hop, sponsored by Ruby Glow – a sex toy designed by my good friend Tabitha Rayne. It’s all about self-love, and given May is Masturbation Month, it’s very fitting!
So, do be sure to check out all the posts, comment, share them, tweet them, as there are some amazing prizes to be won! For example…
Ruby Glow by Rocks Off and paperback copies of Sexy Just Got Rich by Brit Babes, Chemical S[ex] edited by Oleander Plume and A Clockwork Butterfly by Tabitha Rayne.
There may also be prizes on the various blogs, and even some spot prizes!
I’m giving away a backlist title – after the post you’ll see my Rafflecopter.
Now, without further ado, here is my post, which is a (very) short story from my erotica collection, Multi-Orgasmic. It’s called Chasing:
You’ve heard of those storm chaser folks, haven’t you? The ones that go out seeking tornados and stuff so they can do scientific research on them? Well, I’m like them. Only I chase orgasms, not tornados. And I’m not interested in research—scientific or otherwise—just the extreme pleasure each and every climax gives me.
I guess you’re wondering why I’ve compared myself to a storm chaser now, aren’t you? After all, orgasms are two-a-penny, right? Not for me. I used the comparison because my climaxes are as unpredictable as the weather, and so elusive that I have to chase them relentlessly, using specialised equipment.
I was nineteen when I had my first orgasm, and it was courtesy of my brand new vibrator. I’d had several lovers by then, but none of them had even come close to making me come. It didn’t mean that the sex was crap—far from it, in some cases—but for some reason, my clitoris would simply not co-operate. It became a constant source of frustration—for both myself and my sex partners—and I was convinced there was something wrong with me. I read books, I searched the Internet, and soon discovered that I wasn’t alone. According to many sources, the problem was psychological, not physical. They also said that if I couldn’t make myself come, then how could I expect anyone else to?
I tried. Really I did. I watched porn, read dirty books, pulled out the lube and masturbated until my fingers went stiff, my wrists ached, and my lady parts were sore. I ended up more frustrated than ever, and eventually headed into a sex shop and purchased myself a rabbit vibe.
The first time I used it, I came so quickly that I barely knew what it felt like. I was left breathless, with my cunt spasming wildly around the shaft of the toy and a flush that ran from my chest up to my cheeks.
Oddly, my first emotion was relief. So I could orgasm, I just needed something battery-operated to help me out. It was better than nothing, and once my clit had recovered from its sensitivity, I switched the toy on again and teased my body into a second climax. That time I was more able to savour the sensation. I can’t think of a word that truly captures how it was. Think divine, heavenly, blissful; times that by ten and you’re somewhere in the right region.
From then on I was hooked. I now knew exactly how wonderful it felt to climax, and I wanted more. Knowing I was physically able to come from clitoral stimulation took a weight off my mind. I thought perhaps it would clear the mental block that was preventing me from coming by my own hand and with partners. Sadly, that wasn’t the case. Lots more toy-free masturbation and several sexual partners later and I was still orgasm-less.
Thankfully I always had my vibrator as backup, and every time I went grocery shopping I added batteries to my basket. I came perilously close to turning into a teenage boy. Not literally, of course, but in the locking-myself-in-my-room-and-going-through-lots-of-tissues way. I just got addicted to the feeling that so many women take for granted, and pushed my body over the edge again and again, marvelling at how completely amazing and mind-blowing it was, each and every time.
Now, though, I have a much better handle on things. I know that I can come, and that the ability isn’t going to disappear. I hope.
It’s getting harder. Compared to the first time, when I came so quickly I hardly knew what had hit me, it’s growing increasingly more difficult. In the months and years since that eye-opening moment, I’ve bought every type of sex toy going. More rabbit-style vibrators, dildos, wands, bullets, remote-controlled knickers… you name it, I’ve bought it. I should probably have shares in the battery manufacturing companies, I’m spending that much money with them. The trouble is, no matter how wonderful and powerful these toys claim to be, there’s only one that can make me come.
My trusty rabbit. It alone can tease my stubborn clit into submission, bring that delicious tightening sensation to my abdomen, make my pussy flutter and give me climaxes so extreme that I writhe on the bed and yell so loud my neighbours probably think I’m being murdered.
My first one broke, you know. I panicked. The thought of never being able to come again struck terror into the very depths of my soul. I literally dropped everything and ran to the computer to order another one, exactly the same. Thankfully they still stocked that particular model.
I don’t know what I’ll do if they discontinue it. Maybe I should buy several and keep them in storage, just in case.
I know it sounds crazy. Excessive. But can you imagine having one single thing, just one way of making yourself feel on top of the world? And to risk it being taken away? You wouldn’t, would you? It’s unthinkable. I’m trying new things all the time, just hoping that there’s something, or someone, else that will shake my clit into submission and break me into tiny fragments of ecstasy. So far, there’s nothing or no one. But I’m having fun trying.
So that’s why I continue to chase climax, with my specialised equipment. Because I won’t give them up. I won’t. I can’t.
Maybe I should try therapy. I’m beginning to think it’ll be cheaper than all these damn batteries.
Want more orgasms? Check out Multi-Orgasmic here.
Use the Rafflecopter below to enter my giveaway, then be sure to click on the link underneath to head back to Tabitha’s site and all the other amazing folks taking part in the hop!