This blog post has been floating around in my mind for a couple of weeks now, but what with the mad rush in the lead up to Eroticon and several other bits and pieces going on, I haven’t had chance to do it justice.
Now is the time. And actually, I’m glad now that I’m writing this piece after Eroticon because some of the things I learned and conversations I had will add to it.
I’ve blogged about this to an extent in guest posts on other sites, but I don’t think I’ve ever actually covered it here, which is mad, when you think about it. I want to have a little rant on my own website!
I suppose I’d better tell you what I’m talking about, hadn’t I?
It’s about erotica and erotic romance writers being multi faceted people. If you’re one of those writers, I suspect you’re now sitting there nodding and knowing pretty much where this post is going to go. You might even stop reading. But I want to get it off my chest, so there you have it.
This issue came up again a couple of weeks ago when I had a very interesting evening. I ended up sitting in a pub with two other erotic writers, an erotic artist and the erotic artist’s partner. Naturally, much of the conversation was about erotica writing and art, but it was also about other writing, other art. We all laughed at the reactions we’d probably get from the people around us if we stood up and announced what we did – but to be honest, none of us were all that bothered.
Why? Because we knew that despite what other people may think, there is so much more to us than erotica. It was proven in other topics we covered: litter, the outdoors, the environment, Pinterest, QR Codes, metalwork, moving house, divorce, children, health, pets… you get the idea. I’m sure I haven’t even mentioned half of what we chatted about. But the fact is we sat and chatted about a ton of things, despite the fact that the thing that had brought us together in the first place was erotica. None of us were sitting there in PVC clothing (though what the others were wearing underneath their clothes, I don’t know, nor do I want to!), wielding whips and trying to hump the nearest thing that moved. Because we’re just normal people – albeit with a fascinating facet of our lives. And, just because we write such naughty stories, doesn’t mean we live them.
I shouldn’t complain too much, because I know most people (including myself) are guilty of putting others into boxes, whatever their profession. We stereotype people – and we shouldn’t. Not all accountants are suit and spectacle-wearing bores with calculators in their pockets. Not all librarians are dowdy, spectacle-wearing, wouldn’t-say-boo-to-a-goose types. Not all builders have their arses hanging out and whistle and leer at every woman walking past.
Not all firemen are hot. (Sadly)
This topic fermented further in my mind last weekend, when I spent time with even more erotica writing people. Yes, we were at a gathering called Eroticon and that was our primary common interest. But once the day was over and we went off for dinner, drinks and chat, we didn’t just talk about erotica and sex. Of course, we talked about it – quite a bit actually. But again, we covered so many other topics – the craft of writing, our pasts, our education, how we met our other halves, pets (especially guinea pigs – just ask Victoria Blisse), children, policemen (several kept wandering in and out of the hotel lobby), travel, the outdoors, hot guys, careers, postmen, greengrocers and much more.
We didn’t draw any attention from the people around us, and nor did we want to. We just wanted to chat freely about whatever the hell we wanted – so we did. Writing took up much of our time, mainly because in our day to day lives, we don’t have people we can sit face to face with and discuss it in length. We all email regularly, but it’s not the same as sitting down at a table and chatting about the thing we love so much – which is also the thing that brought us together.
And that’s the beauty of the get togethers. They may be infrequent, but they’re always fun and we have some of the most interesting conversation.
But not, as so many people may think, just about sex and erotica. There’s so much more to us than that. We’re multi faceted, and the people that don’t ‘get’ it will do well to remember that.
I know that if you’re here (and still reading!!) that I’m preaching to the converted, but it was on my mind and it wanted to come out. So I let it. I’m all done now. Much better 😉