You Must Be My Best Friend… Because I Hate You – Emily Dubberley

You Must Be My Best Friend… Because I Hate You proves that Emily Dubberley doesn’t just write about sex. The editor-in-chief of Scarlet studied Psychology at University, therefore is better qualified than most of us to give advice on matters of the heart.

You Must Be… (shortening it, because it’s a rather long title!) covers every aspect of friendship, everything you could possibly think of, and then some. It’s a book that tells you how to get the most out of friendship, how to avoid problems, and how to ditch friends that you longer want to be friends with.

Having loved and lost several friends already in my short life, it was reassuring to know that this is perfectly normal. Dubberley says as friends and their lifestyles change, it’s often inevitable that you will grow apart and finally realise you don’t want to be friends with them anymore. Likewise if they’re mistreating you, or you seem to be the one doing all the running. You’re often better off without them, so don’t stay in friendships which zap all your energy, and are one-sided.

Dubberley also investigates the murkier waters of sex in friendship, for example if you’re “fuck-buddies”, or it’s a platonic friendship but one of you wants more. Also, if you’re friends with an ex, and they want you to meet their partner. Literally everything is covered here. So if you have any friendship problems at all and want to find the best way to solve them, it’s all here! Each section has a problem explained, and then there’s a real-life example given. It’s amazing what some people will put up with, and have been through!

A pretty individual book, as most seem to focus on relationships and families, there are few and far between that deal with friendship. Given the fact we put up with more shit from friends than relationships, all praise Ms Dubberley for writing the book!

Overall, I found it a useful book, although I myself (luckily) don’t have many friendship problems. I did think, however, in some way the real-life stories ruined the narrative flow somewhat, and made it drag on longer than was necessary. But if you do have recurring problems, this is a must-buy. And each copy sold donates money to the Outsiders Charity – a self-help group for disabled people, helping them gain confidence.

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